Houghton Lake Resorter | Decluttering the mind: A spring reset
“Spring cleaning.” The phrase that fuels excitement in some people and dread in others. For most of us it brings to mind our long list of household chores and yardwork – finally cleaning out that closet or organizing the basement. But spring cleaning isn’t just for your home – it’s for your mindset too. Now is a great time to let go of what no longer serves you and make space for growth.
Like old clothes tucked away in the back of a closet, self-limiting beliefs can quietly accumulate – often unnoticed for far longer. Self-limiting beliefs are judgments or beliefs about ourselves that keep us from reaching our full potential. They can stem from childhood influences, past experiences, and/or societal expectations. Examples of common self-limiting beliefs include thinking that you are not good enough, smart enough, or worthy enough to achieve success. These interfere with making progress on both personal and professional goals. Much like the first step in cleaning out a clothes closet, you start by identification. Take an inventory and write down the beliefs you have about yourself. To determine if they still “fit” you, evaluate their accuracy by separating the facts from the stories you tell yourself. For those self-limiting beliefs that no longer serve you, challenge and replace them with accurate beliefs. For example, if your limiting belief is, “I don’t have enough time to invest in myself.” Reframe it to “I have the ability to reorganize my time in order to focus on what's most important to me.”
Another area to declutter is negative self-talk. It is as common as having expired food in our pantry. Our “inner critics” serve a purpose when they help us to examine and learn from difficult situations (“I could have handled that situation better.”). But at other times these inner judges go overboard. Imagine you are speaking with a group of people you have just met, and you say something incorrect. You may have an inner judge that tells you, “Great, now everybody must be talking about how dumb I am.” Not only is this an example of negative self-talk but also of the spotlight effect. This is a phenomenon where we overestimate the amount of attention that people are paying to what we say and do. We may then perseverate on this social interaction and find the inner judge punishing us even more (“I bet they tell everyone else how dumb I am and no one will want to spend time with me.”). To combat the inner judge, start by noticing when these types of negative thoughts cross your mind and write them down. You can then challenge the negative self-talk by identifying realistic evidence that contradicts the judge. Perhaps you tell yourself, “Well, even though what I said was wrong, everyone makes mistakes, and nobody seemed to care anyway.” Another strategy is to ask yourself what you would think of someone close to you who experienced the same social faux paus you did. Chances are that you will find yourself being much more understanding and compassionate to someone else than yourself. Time to clean out those corners of your mind and benefit from the increased clarity about yourself and your actions.
Another unhelpful item that may be taking up valuable mental space is resentment. Much like an ever-growing pile of toys and electronics that are beyond repair, holding onto old grievances serves no useful purpose. In fact, it actually causes you more harm than the person with whom you have the grudge in terms of mood, sleep, and physical health. You may be familiar with some version of the quote, “Holding onto resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Choosing to forgive someone is not about them; it’s a gift to yourself. . Letting go of past hurts doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the harm that was done to you. It’s about making the decision to take the power back over your life by focusing on yourself and moving forward. Forgiveness sounds like a simple process, but it is not easy and it takes practice. When you learn to clean out the old baggage in your head, you lighten the emotional load.
If you are interested in receiving in-depth guidance about the information and strategies above, please reach out!
Dr. Stacey R. Gedeon of Roscommon County is a clinical health psychologist and founder of SRG Healthcare Consulting and Professional Coaching, PLLC (srghcc.com). The content of this column is for informational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice or services in her capacity as a licensed psychologist. If you have suggestions for future topics on managing everyday challenges, please submit them to drgedeon@srghcc.com.
